Social anxiety isn’t just about being shy or nervous in social situations or when you’re in larger groups of people.
For many, it’s an overwhelming experience that can affect how they engage with family and friends, connect with others, and perform at work.
For men, there can sometimes be an extra layer of pressure to conform to a cultural expectation that you must be strong, confident and keep it all together.
But as we all know, showing this on the outside is difficult when you’re feeling stressed and anxious on the inside.
But whether you’re feeling it yourself or leading a team where others may be struggling, there are practical ways to create a supportive environment at work that can help.
Firstly, what is social anxiety?
According to Beyond Blue, social anxiety disorder is when you experience intense anxiety about social situations or performing in front of others.
You might fear being judged, criticised or laughed at in front of others.
Even an everyday situation, like eating in front of others in a restaurant, can cause someone anxiety.
And it’s more common than you might think.
Beyond Blue states that around 11 percent of Australians experience social anxiety at some time in their lives.
That’s millions of people.
So if you’re one of them, you’re not alone.
And if you don’t experience social anxiety, chances are one of your team does.
Social anxiety can affect people both mentally and physically, and it can happen before or during different situations.
It can show up as sweating, blushing, rapid heartbeat, or even a panic attack in moments like speaking in a meeting, attending events, or even making small talk at work.
The National Institute of Mental Health (USA) explains that social anxiety disorder usually starts in late childhood teenage years but can continue into adult years if it’s not addressed.
Fortunately, it’s both treatable and manageable.
How to tackle social anxiety
Team Manager from Acumen, Ben Ireland, recently shared his tips on dealing with social anxiety.
Ben looks at the interactions we have with groups or individuals in social situations and how it can impact our personal and professional lives.
Check out Ben’s tips below.
Cultural expectations of ‘being a man’
The idea that to ‘be a man’ means being stoic and self-reliant also means many men suffer in silence.
When it comes to mental health, men may dismiss how they’re feeling or not feel like they can ask for help as they may be perceived as being weak or ‘not up to the job’.
According to Beyond Blue, this hesitation can not only delay diagnosis and treatment but can also make the condition worse.
Some men may also feel added pressure to be the main provider while also having to be there for their families.
Balancing family and personal time with work can be difficult at the best of times.
Add social anxiety into the mix, and it becomes much more challenging.
Here are some tips to help manage this balance:
Set boundaries
Clearly define your work hours and family time and stick to them. Let your employer and family know about these boundaries so everyone is on the same page.
Stay organised
Planning ahead can reduce stress and ensure you have time for both work and family. Using calendars and to-do lists can be a good way to manage your time.
Prioritise self-care
Make time for activities that help you relax and recharge, like exercise, reading, or doing a hobby. Do some with your kids and partner, but take time for yourself. A few minutes of breathing exercise or a short walk outside can be calming.
Say ‘NO’ more often
Overcommitting can make your life more stressful and can even trigger or worsen anxiety. Prioritise what’s most important to you and your family.
Talk about how you’re feeling
Letting your partner, friends, or kids know when you’re feeling overwhelmed means you don’t have to carry everything on your own. And it also helps others open up and manage their own stress.
Stay active
Getting out and moving regularly, even just a walk with your kids, can boost your mood and lower anxiety levels.
Share responsibilities
Make sure you and your partner are helping each other out, and if you need more support, call on your family members. Remember, it’s OK to ask for help.
Seek professional help
If you’re struggling to manage stress or anxiety, consider talking to a mental health professional who can provide valuable tools and strategies for coping.
Supporting the men in your team
If you’re leading a team with men in it, chances are someone is silently struggling.
It’s essential that they know you are there to support them, and that starts by creating a mentally healthy environment.
Here are a few ways you can make that happen:
Lead by example
Show that it’s OK to take breaks and prioritise mental health. Your actions can set a positive example for your team.
Talk openly
Encouraging employees to share their concerns and feelings without fear of judgment creates a culture where mental health is openly discussed. Start by talking about mental health in meetings or team check-ins. This signals that it’s OK to bring it up.
Recognise and praise good work
Acknowledging your employees’ hard work and achievements can boost confidence and reduce anxiety.
Watch for signs
Signs of social anxiety may include avoiding meetings, seeming withdrawn, or declining opportunities to present or lead. Check-in privately if you notice these patterns.
Offer flexibility
If someone’s struggling, flexible working arrangements could help them manage their anxiety. Be open to adjusting schedules or allowing remote work when possible.
Encourage team support
Support from colleagues can reduce stress. Creating opportunities for collaboration and team building can help create a more supportive culture.
Promote professional help
Let your team know that seeking help is a strength, not a weakness. Offer access to mental health resources, such as counselling services or stress management workshops, and make sure employees know where they can access help.
No one should have to go it alone
Social anxiety, or any mental health issue, isn’t something anyone should have to ‘man up’ for and just try to get through it.
Social anxiety is a common issue that many men face, but it’s important for anyone to remember that they are not alone.
By taking steps to manage your own anxiety and supporting others in doing the same, you can create a healthier, more supportive environment for yourself and your team.
Resources and further reading
- Social anxiety – CCI Health
- Social anxiety disorder – Healthdirect
- Social anxiety disorder – Beyond Blue
- How to support a colleague dealing with social anxiety – Harvard Business Review
- What is social anxiety disorder? – MensLine Australia
- Social anxiety disorder: more than just shyness – National Institute of Mental Health
